Marital Mishap Enthusiast Pillows

"You might want to take this. It's your wife."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

Kindly readers, our resident counselor, Sadie Cohen, will be answering actual questions sent to her via email. Prepare to get an earful of wisdom! Dr. Sadie, I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman who I wish to marry but am still reeling from my first marriage scares me. How do I get over that fear? Signed, Fearful in Salt Lake City. Fear is a worthless emotion. It doesn't help at all. What you should be feeling is terror. Run for your life.

So all is not rosy in the garden?

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

Gender Symbols

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

"I married for contrast."

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

"I agreed to 'for better' and 'for worse,' but never to 'for mysterious' and 'withholding'."

"Why, it's a little piece of red yarn! Oh Harold, you always know JUST what to get me."

"Well, Pook, here's to one old marriage that just won't go away."

"That's Stuart and Vivian Muntner. They're a one-marriage family."

"I went ahead and got married without knowing the possible side effects."

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

"And will you, Lee, take Mimi for granted as long as you both shall live."

'They have TWO trees!'

"What makes a happy marriage - how should I know? Ask your mother."

The widow's intended: 'Well, Tommy, has your mother told you of my good fortune.' Tommy: 'No. She only said she was going to marry you!'

Old Man and Women

'Will you marry me, Miss?'

"A special offer from the Beatrice Wiggins Marriage Bureau they may be - but I'm afraid it's still bigamy, sir..."

"My husband's lost some interest...can you tattoo me into a giant remote control?"

"This is a great place to work...they give you a day off every time you get married!"

'Look at it this way, you're not losing a son you're gaining an informant.'