Marital Mischief Maker Pillows

"Yes, my automatic starter has the technology to start your car as well. I'll show you. Honey! Go start her car!"

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'Admit it, Mabel - you've been keeping these non-iron shirts a secret in order to save our marriage, haven't you?'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Bad dog."

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

'okay...where did you hide it?'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

Photobooth Photobomb

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

"Here's a buck, kid... Don't tell your mom I snuck out of my retirement home!"

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

"I guess breakable things need to be more careful around me."

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"If that's my mom tell her I'm at recess."

'Stop fooling around, I can hear my dad coming out of the shower...'

"My dad ate my homework."

Department of Foreign Affairs Foreign Affairs staff and their Mistresses from various parts of the World,having some fun in the office, witnessed by a stunned member of the public.

'The real fun comes when we go through airport security.'

"So nice to spend a week just ransacking with the kids."

Doggie Bowl Drill

'I thought you said you were taking me to Swan Lake?'

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

'But I only came in to have my appendix out!'

'We'll soon know whether or not the Easter rabbit is real.'

ASBOs

Fishers about to be crashed into by rowers

Hide and Seek

'Over on stage number two is the lovely, succulent, Misty Flatulence!'