Marriage Minimalists Gifts

"Do you offer a ceremony less drastic than marriage?"

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"Not to mention the park view."

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

'Ed is a man of few words. And few letters.'

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

"I was in corporate sales for years but then I realized, I'm a gatherer not a hunter."

"I'd like you to meet my Husband 2.0!"

Marriage Exit Strategy

The End is Near...You Wish.

"Look, all I'm asking is that we let market forces bring a greater degree of efficiency into our marriage."

'No thanks. This patch stops me craving for superflous functions.'

Knife splits newly weds on wedding cake

'A lot of domestic accidents could be prevented -- take marriage, for instance....'

'I'm switching to another provider,dear.'

"....After 'So long as we both do live', we'd like to ass 'or we get fed up with each other'."

"... And the only time he takes me out, is to bring me here!"

'Your parents wrote this prenup stating you two will stay together at least long enough to justify your costly wedding.'

Just married.

"I decided to buy a tiny house."

'The Nihilist Deli'

'Don't touch it. That's my wife talking to me.'

'But dear, you always said you didn't care where we went on our honeymoon.'

'I get this awful dream where I'm walking down the street - Completely clothed!'

'So John, can I have the hand of your daughter in marriage for a few years?'

"Believe me, everyone at the bank envies our simple lifestyle."

"So this is what 'for richer, for poorer' looks like."

"Click here if you accept his terms and conditions."