Marriage Minimalists T-Shirts

"Do you offer a ceremony less drastic than marriage?"

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"Not to mention the park view."

'Ed is a man of few words. And few letters.'

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

"I'd like you to meet my Husband 2.0!"

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

Marriage Exit Strategy

"I was in corporate sales for years but then I realized, I'm a gatherer not a hunter."

The End is Near...You Wish.

"Look, all I'm asking is that we let market forces bring a greater degree of efficiency into our marriage."

'No thanks. This patch stops me craving for superflous functions.'

"... And the only time he takes me out, is to bring me here!"

'I'm switching to another provider,dear.'

"....After 'So long as we both do live', we'd like to ass 'or we get fed up with each other'."

'A lot of domestic accidents could be prevented -- take marriage, for instance....'

Knife splits newly weds on wedding cake

'Your parents wrote this prenup stating you two will stay together at least long enough to justify your costly wedding.'

Just married.

'Don't touch it. That's my wife talking to me.'

"I decided to buy a tiny house."

'But dear, you always said you didn't care where we went on our honeymoon.'

'The Nihilist Deli'

'I get this awful dream where I'm walking down the street - Completely clothed!'

"So this is what 'for richer, for poorer' looks like."

'So John, can I have the hand of your daughter in marriage for a few years?'

"Believe me, everyone at the bank envies our simple lifestyle."

"Sad flick, but they found happiness at the end."