Marriage Modernists Gifts

'So John, can I have the hand of your daughter in marriage for a few years?'

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

A Man Visits A Doctor To Ask About Marriage.

You are cordially invited...

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

Marriage Exit Strategy

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

"You know what I bet it is? I bet we're breaking up but we just don't realize it yet."

"If I get married, will that count as a capital gain?"

"I'd like you to meet my Husband 2.0!"

'One thing I need clarified: if we marry in church, is there any point in a pre-nuptial agreement?'

"She's high maintenance. I love her."

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

". . . Do you both like and subscribe. . ."

The End is Near...You Wish.

"Look, all I'm asking is that we let market forces bring a greater degree of efficiency into our marriage."

'I'm switching to another provider,dear.'

"You take small bites out life, Howard, and chew thoroughly."

'A lot of domestic accidents could be prevented -- take marriage, for instance....'

"....After 'So long as we both do live', we'd like to ass 'or we get fed up with each other'."

"Norman, the proper response is 'I do'...not 'If I have to'!"