Marriage Modernists Gifts

'So John, can I have the hand of your daughter in marriage for a few years?'

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

The Sleeping Congregation.

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

A Man Visits A Doctor To Ask About Marriage.

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

You are cordially invited...

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

"Like the old saying goes, when the cat's away, the mouse better not do anything that'll get him choked out when the cat gets back."

"If I get married, will that count as a capital gain?"

"You know what I bet it is? I bet we're breaking up but we just don't realize it yet."

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

Marriage Exit Strategy

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

'One thing I need clarified: if we marry in church, is there any point in a pre-nuptial agreement?'

". . . Do you both like and subscribe. . ."

"She's high maintenance. I love her."

"I'd like you to meet my Husband 2.0!"

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

The End is Near...You Wish.

"Look, all I'm asking is that we let market forces bring a greater degree of efficiency into our marriage."

"Norman, the proper response is 'I do'...not 'If I have to'!"

'A lot of domestic accidents could be prevented -- take marriage, for instance....'

"....After 'So long as we both do live', we'd like to ass 'or we get fed up with each other'."

'I'm switching to another provider,dear.'