Marriage Meme Collector Pillows

'I had a really sexy videotape, but I can't show it to you. My wife taped our wedding over it.'

"I was my own worst critic, but then I got married."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"Whoa! Was that today?"

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Great sermon, Reverend! Too bad my husband couldn't stay awake to hear it.'

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

"Let's take in a trial."

'I told you he had a temper.'

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

'I do wish you'd use the study when you work from home.'

"I got my wife a book on decluttering and the first thing to go was me."

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

Health and Safety to Ban Marriage

'Cheers, it's worth the domestic hassle.'

"I remember when you used to whisper sweet nothings in my ear."

'This always seems to happen on your night to cook.'

'My interest in gardening backfired when I married a couch potato.'

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

"That's O.K., I'll go—'m dressed."

'You wanted me to take you to my leader. Well, my wife is my leader.'

'How was I to know that you don't like Marzipan?'

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

"I said I was sorry. No need to bite my head off!"

'I should have listened to my mother. . . when she said you were immature.'

'To be perfectly honest, I cross the road to get away from my husband.'

"It's his favorite time of year."

'I don't mind him smoking in bed. . .But not herrings.'

"I'll be back – I'm going to run from my emotions."

'They're like ice! You're like a giant vampire bat sucking the warmth out of me!'