Marital Joke Collector Pillows

"What do you mean, you're getting cold feet? We've been married six years."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

The Rooster Comedian.

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Useless add-ons.

Suffering from Cooties?

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

Irritable trowel syndrome.

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

Shark infested custard!

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

Mexican Jumping Balls.

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

My daddy ate my homework

Cheating Death.

"Turn your head and cough."

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

'Take one of these three times a day until you start to feel better.'

Beware of balloon dog.

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'