Marriage Meme Sharers Pillows

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

'Butch, did you shoot my liberty valance?'

His and Hers Wedding

"Whoa! Was that today?"

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Great sermon, Reverend! Too bad my husband couldn't stay awake to hear it.'

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

"Let's take in a trial."

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

"Look, previous, your video got 954 likes this morning!"

'I told you he had a temper.'

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

'I do wish you'd use the study when you work from home.'

"I got my wife a book on decluttering and the first thing to go was me."

"I remember when you used to whisper sweet nothings in my ear."

"That's O.K., I'll go—'m dressed."

'This always seems to happen on your night to cook.'

"My wife isn't speaking to me."

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

'Cheers, it's worth the domestic hassle.'

'My interest in gardening backfired when I married a couch potato.'

Health and Safety to Ban Marriage

'You wanted me to take you to my leader. Well, my wife is my leader.'

'How was I to know that you don't like Marzipan?'

'This is my new husband Gregory -- I don't quite have all the bugs out of him yet.'