Relationship Meme Fan Pillows

Man who is 'expecting a friend every minute.'

Blowing up your ex.

"She found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. She hit the roof."

Life is for the birds.

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

"Whoa! Was that today?"

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

One cheese omelette, and I've never cheated on my husband. Um, okay. Anything else? A side of hash browns for this one-man woman! And a chocolate as hot and sweet as my intensely singular love for this phenomenal guy. Chuck? Yes dear? I've been having an affair for the last six months. Oh don't act surprised. One scone, and what the @#$% just happened? The denial and snacks before the storm.

Still Lives: 'What's wrong, don't you love me anymore?'

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'His ego needs lipo suction!'

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

'I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer.'

What do I want out of our relationship? Same thing anyone wants. Good value.

'I used to think it was her red dress, but I've discovered I find your mother irritating in any color.'

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

"Manfred, don't get so defensive!"