Marital Meme Lover Pillows

"Say those three little words you think I need to hear."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'Butch, did you shoot my liberty valance?'

"Whoa! Was that today?"

His and Hers Wedding

"What do you mean, there's no room for my stuff?"

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

"What do you mean I never take you anywhere? We're here, aren't we?"

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

'My wife likes it when I help out in the kitchen.'

'I told you he had a temper.'

'As your solicitor I must ask you to consider divorce an option of last resort. We could mount a drone strike against your husband at a fraction of the cost.'

"No heroic measures."

"I got my wife a book on decluttering and the first thing to go was me."

Health and Safety to Ban Marriage

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

"Would it kill you to help around the house for once?!"

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."

'We can't get a divorce... we haven't paid for the wedding.'

'Not that insect, silly! That's my husband.'

"You never tell me you love me." "I told ya' once. I'll let you know if anything changes."

"I remember when you used to whisper sweet nothings in my ear."

"And they all said, twenty five years ago, that our trial seperation wouldn't last!!"

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

'You wanted me to take you to my leader. Well, my wife is my leader.'

Google Translate for Marriagese

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'