Marital Meme Lover Pillows

"Say those three little words you think I need to hear."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"Whoa! Was that today?"

His and Hers Wedding

"What do you mean, there's no room for my stuff?"

'Butch, did you shoot my liberty valance?'

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

'My wife likes it when I help out in the kitchen.'

"What do you mean I never take you anywhere? We're here, aren't we?"

'As your solicitor I must ask you to consider divorce an option of last resort. We could mount a drone strike against your husband at a fraction of the cost.'

"No heroic measures."

'I told you he had a temper.'

"I got my wife a book on decluttering and the first thing to go was me."

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

"And they all said, twenty five years ago, that our trial seperation wouldn't last!!"

Amanda Kern. Comics counseling. Well, first of all, he can't find anything, ever. I have to find the man's socks, his toothbrush

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

Health and Safety to Ban Marriage

'Not that insect, silly! That's my husband.'

"You never tell me you love me." "I told ya' once. I'll let you know if anything changes."

"Would it kill you to help around the house for once?!"

"I remember when you used to whisper sweet nothings in my ear."

'We can't get a divorce... we haven't paid for the wedding.'

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."

Google Translate for Marriagese

'You wanted me to take you to my leader. Well, my wife is my leader.'

'She always has to be right.'