Marriage Maintenance Enthusiast Gifts

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

'The coalition of the willing.'

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

So all is not rosy in the garden?

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

Gender Symbols

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

"I married for contrast."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

"Why, it's a little piece of red yarn! Oh Harold, you always know JUST what to get me."

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

"I went ahead and got married without knowing the possible side effects."

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

'Harriet just became a senior, but she's an oldie, but goodie.'

"That's Stuart and Vivian Muntner. They're a one-marriage family."

"Well, Pook, here's to one old marriage that just won't go away."

"I agreed to 'for better' and 'for worse,' but never to 'for mysterious' and 'withholding'."

"He's not the frog I married."

'Sorry, my wife can't take your call at the moment. This is her answer phone.'

'Will you marry me, Miss?'

The widow's intended: 'Well, Tommy, has your mother told you of my good fortune.' Tommy: 'No. She only said she was going to marry you!'