Marriage Gymnast Gifts

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'He's maturing early.'

Children jumping onto mattress in PE.

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"Now look, Frank, Molly, there's nothing wrong with a Polar Bear and a Penguin being in a relationship. In fact, in my experience, Polar opposites attract!"

Harvey went to the kitchen to top up his gin and tonic. When he came back, things took an unexpected turn.

"He never sniffs my butt anymore."

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

Synchronized Diving: 10 & under division.

'I still say it was a mistake having the ceremony TOO close to his stag night!'

"I'm not 'just sitting here' — my mind is all over the place."

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'

"We were so happy doc. . . but then she changed!"

"Can I call you back, I'm engaged in crisis talks."

Spam.

The band was really swinging, providing a nice cover for Andrew and Carolyn's argument.

"This may come as a shock to you, but you two are not a good fit. It's no one's ground fault. Electricity is not enough. I know it's hertz, but one day you'll connect with watt I'm relaying."

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

'I'm sure you'll find having a crossword will help your marriage.'

'He has no romance. For special occasions, he gives me a coupon for a card and chocolates that will be 50% off the next day.'

Parkour for the over-40s.

Multitasking

Graceful, for a big man....

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

"This is a good start! You both agree that the marriage needs some new spark!"

"Well that's a load of baloney. I brought you here didn't I?"

I'm not just jumping on the bed. I'm perfecting bedspring-cusion calasthentics!

"That's the dating guru."

'You know, I'll be honest...I don't think you two mix very well with one another.'

'I think you need to work on your frontal lobes.'