Marriage Gymnast T-Shirts

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'He's maturing early.'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Children jumping onto mattress in PE.

Harvey went to the kitchen to top up his gin and tonic. When he came back, things took an unexpected turn.

"Now look, Frank, Molly, there's nothing wrong with a Polar Bear and a Penguin being in a relationship. In fact, in my experience, Polar opposites attract!"

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

'I still say it was a mistake having the ceremony TOO close to his stag night!'

"I'm not 'just sitting here' — my mind is all over the place."

"He never sniffs my butt anymore."

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'

"Can I call you back, I'm engaged in crisis talks."

Spam.

"We were so happy doc. . . but then she changed!"

The band was really swinging, providing a nice cover for Andrew and Carolyn's argument.

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

I'm not just jumping on the bed. I'm perfecting bedspring-cusion calasthentics!

"Well that's a load of baloney. I brought you here didn't I?"

"This is a good start! You both agree that the marriage needs some new spark!"

'He has no romance. For special occasions, he gives me a coupon for a card and chocolates that will be 50% off the next day.'

Multitasking

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

Graceful, for a big man....

"That's the dating guru."

'You know, I'll be honest...I don't think you two mix very well with one another.'

'I think you need to work on your frontal lobes.'

The Acrobat/Musician