Marriage Enhancer Gifts

'It's all downhill from here.'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"We REALLY do get better with age."

"We didn't spend much time together when we first got married, so we're making up for lost time. We now have a date night 300 days a year."

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

'I know you love her and want to protect her. But it's wrong to laminate her.'

How to Polish Up Your Resume. Remember, you don't want to polish it to the point you can actually see yourself in it.

"I may not be in for a while, Eddie. My wife and I have decided to normalize relations."

"What do you have that's bigger than 'king'?"

"I'm leaving you. I would have told you earlier but the time just never seemed right."

"I thought dry ice would enhance the mood."

The Incredible Skulk

'During the work gap on my resume, between 2008 and 2012, I was working on my marriage.'

'This is one thing you can't blame on me.'

The Art Lover

Test dummies holding 'Kama Sutra For Dummies' manual.

Brenda tests to see if Karl can truly handle the low points of living together.

Tunnel of I Need You to Help Out More Around the House

Sex shop

'Well, what seems to be the problem?'

'We're OK now thanks: Ralph is not an Alpha Male anymore, he has more time for me and the family...'

'I'll take that as a 'yes.''

Institute (brain).

'You'll find that communication, in a marriage, works best if you start off with a smile and a kiss.'

'He screams every time we go to bed...Trouble is it wakes me up.'

'It's my wife's reminder to put the toilet seat down.'

Easy Answer Marriage Clinic: 'Make love more often.'

Sex Shop

'If we can save the whales we sure can save your marriage!'

Moses and the Screenwriter: 'Accurate-Shmaccurate...if you want this story to sell, it needs some punching up.'

"You, on the other hand, she'll welcome with open arms!"

'I'm flattered by your imitation, unless you just want to be taller than me.'

"We spend hours in bed together-but that's only because that's where the telly is!"