Marriage Dynamics Enthusiasts Gifts

"Since when did they start putting perfume in aerosol cans?"

I like the Jets...I guess

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

'Oh, we don't keep score in our marriage, Dr. Downs, but if we did, I'd be winning 212 to 137.'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

Kindly readers, our resident counselor, Sadie Cohen, will be answering actual questions sent to her via email. Prepare to get an earful of wisdom! Dr. Sadie, I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman who I wish to marry but am still reeling from my first marriage scares me. How do I get over that fear? Signed, Fearful in Salt Lake City. Fear is a worthless emotion. It doesn't help at all. What you should be feeling is terror. Run for your life.

So all is not rosy in the garden?

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"You call that worrying?"

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

"Mort, I'm writing a case study about two diametrically opposed archetypes of your generation. Archetype number one: a bold, debonaire male... The type that suffered no fools, lived life to the fullest, and pursued romance with tough, smart 'dames' who kept him on his toes. And then there's archetype number two: weak, insecure, afraid of life, and dominated by overbearing romantic partners who brought him to his knees. Ok. I'll participate. Who'd you find for archetype #2? You might want to

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

Gender Symbols

"You don't like my cooking, do you?"

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

"I married for contrast."

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

The Last Husband and Wife Team Hired

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

'We haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately.'

Family Portrait

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

'There can be such a thing as too much parental involvement.'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

'She originally told you she wanted love and understanding? Well, her list has grown.'

"I agreed to 'for better' and 'for worse,' but never to 'for mysterious' and 'withholding'."