Marketplace Warrior Gifts

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

Changing Room Decisions

"You took that news with dignity and grace. I really wanted you to spaz out."

"Put your phones on vibrate. Maybe they'll keep you awake."

'And in conclusion.'

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

"What do you mean, the market rallied?"

Grim Reaper leaning on scared trader.

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

"Returns"

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

Sold It All.

"Avez-vous Cocoa Puffs?"

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

Super express lane for working mothers only!

'To hell with everybody!' - 'Right on!'

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

"One day, this will all be yours. But right now, I need you down in the warehouse."

'He's back on the ledge again! This time, he sold everything, and the market went back up.'

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

Crazy Ed's Warehouse - body in freezer - "Nobody beats our prices and gets away with it."

"Tenth circle. Ladies' shoes."

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

'What's job security like around here? Well, I wouldn't bother taking off my hat or coat.'

'Let's shop faster. I need the exercise.'

The Chinese want to know what capitalism is worth and will we take half for it?

"Any chance of some credit?"

"While we do appreciate your diligence... It's not the store's policy to shoot shoplifters!"

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

"They're considering order-fulfillment as a new Olympic sport."