Marketing Madness Gifts

Sea of pizza delivery leaflets - 'Darling! Our pizza has arrived'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

'Good news, it's not mad cow...it's March madness.'

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'The good news is consumer confidence is up. And the REALLY good news is consumer gullibility is Way up.'

Cold caller.

'It's the philosophy of the company that truth in advertising begins at home.'

'But what do you sell?'

Coca-Cola Inc: 'Gentlemen, is it too late to be bailed out for 'NEW' Coke?'

"Multi-level marketing!"

'Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public. Ethical advertising uses the truth to deceive the public.'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

"Love's OK, but there's no money in it. For the right price, I could help people fall in love with your products."

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

Sun Dried Ice Cubes

It's unlikely the "Deadly Sins" team from Hades University will go far in the basketball tourney. Wrath is suspended for arguing with the refs and sloth always skips practice. Pride puts too much pressure on himself and greed won't risk an injury that would blow his chances for a pro contract. Lust is distracted by the cheerleaders and Envy wants the shots all the other players are getting. Gluttony is the only player thriving in the tournament spotlight. Yeah, he just eats up all the atten

"Let's be honest here and admit we're targeting the 'stupid-with-their-money' demographic."

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

Marv's Preowned Vehicles...That new car smell can kill you! - Buy Used!

"Get another cab, Dad. This one is creepin' me out."

'Sure, our expertise keeps ‘em here, but Mom's cookies get them through the door!'

It's the start of March Madness basketball and this game is tied with seconds to go! I wonder who the hero will be? The nucleus is playing center, but he's been stopped by the defense of the bad cholesterol, who's clogging up the middle! The flu vaccine is the leading scorer. He never passes up a shot! Now the double-x chromosomes are asking the coach to put him in. Of course, the biological clock is running out!

Your weight. See, it's up not down. I told you "thin crust" pizza did not mean it would magically slim you.