Marketing Madness Gifts

Sea of pizza delivery leaflets - 'Darling! Our pizza has arrived'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'The good news is consumer confidence is up. And the REALLY good news is consumer gullibility is Way up.'

'But what do you sell?'

'It's the philosophy of the company that truth in advertising begins at home.'

"Multi-level marketing!"

Cold caller.

'Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public. Ethical advertising uses the truth to deceive the public.'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

"Love's OK, but there's no money in it. For the right price, I could help people fall in love with your products."

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

"Let's be honest here and admit we're targeting the 'stupid-with-their-money' demographic."

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

Sun Dried Ice Cubes

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

Marv's Preowned Vehicles...That new car smell can kill you! - Buy Used!

"Get another cab, Dad. This one is creepin' me out."

'Sure, our expertise keeps ‘em here, but Mom's cookies get them through the door!'

"Gerald is retired, but during March Madness, he goes back to the office to play the college hoops sports pools."

March madness