Market Downturn Gifts

Gorilla investment tactics.

Mario Draghi

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'I've been sent by the board to ask if you'd be willing to cut your symbolic one dollar a year salary to fifty cents.'

"And then, like an idiot, I turned to the boss and said 'Maybe the stock market isn't the only thing that's been overvalued!'"

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

"This just in! Due to downsizing, the mega-merger of Consolidated Industries and Humungous Corporation has been changed to a simple bankruptcy."

'I'm sorry, Collin, but our Dreyfus Mid-Cap fund completely tanked, so we're going to have to let you go.'

Tesla Shares Tanking Into Swastika

'How long's he been out there?'

'Back in the day, you could leverage . . .'

'We don't have a mission statement. We have a survival plan.'

Didn't know as much about the market as I thought I did.

You know retail is in a bad way when...

"Okay, the market took a dive. No reason to panic, Mr. Spielman."

'And the good news is - we're in deep doo-doo.'

"Perkins, sometimes consistency is not a virtue."

"Right, all those in favour of a car boot sale."

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

'What gives you the idea we're on a sinking ship?'

'And here is the effect spiraling energy costs, reduced consumer confidence and limited access to credit is having on our company.'

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

'Bad news I'm afraid...You've got the worst inheritence for a generation.'

'If the market should go down really deep, I'll be well prepared!'

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

"I asked Bill to accompany this presentation with something in a haunting minor key."

Nation of Has-Beens (and Never-Will-Bes)

Business jargon : 'significant negative growth' translated into : 'we are dead broke !'

'I run a small investment firm. Unfortunately, it used to be a large investment firm.'

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.

Stress.

Sign says: 'Please Help. Downshifting'