Business Downturn Gifts

'I thought it would be appropriate to have a magician as we went down.'

'OK, I'll admit I have no people if you'll admit you have no people.'

"I asked Bill to accompany this presentation with something in a haunting minor key."

Mario Draghi

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'I've been sent by the board to ask if you'd be willing to cut your symbolic one dollar a year salary to fifty cents.'

"And then, like an idiot, I turned to the boss and said 'Maybe the stock market isn't the only thing that's been overvalued!'"

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

"This just in! Due to downsizing, the mega-merger of Consolidated Industries and Humungous Corporation has been changed to a simple bankruptcy."

'How long's he been out there?'

"Bad news, sir. The public isn't buying our new Pork Ala King."

Sad businessman with sinking profits

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

'We don't have a mission statement. We have a survival plan.'

Didn't know as much about the market as I thought I did.

"Okay, the market took a dive. No reason to panic, Mr. Spielman."

"Perkins, sometimes consistency is not a virtue."

"Right, all those in favour of a car boot sale."

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

'And here is the effect spiraling energy costs, reduced consumer confidence and limited access to credit is having on our company.'

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

'What gives you the idea we're on a sinking ship?'

'How dare you suggest that I'm running this plant into the ground.'

'Bad news I'm afraid...You've got the worst inheritence for a generation.'

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

'If the market should go down really deep, I'll be well prepared!'

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

"Does anyone have a Plan B?"

'Crisis'

'I run a small investment firm. Unfortunately, it used to be a large investment firm.'

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.