Business Crisis Gifts

Businessman turning to self-improvement seminars due to foreign competition,takeover bids, and restructuring.

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'Our company has hit an iceberg and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

City Redundancies - In? Out?

"Bad news, sir. The public isn't buying our new Pork Ala King."

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

"I'm gonna ride it out!"

Sad businessman with sinking profits

'Our nest egg finally got rotten.'

"Well, the first reactions to the terrible truth are anger and sadness, but now it's time to act like men!"

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"Why does your men's clothing store need a loan?" "During the pandemic sales of pants have dropped way off."

'Our 401(k) is now a 201(k).'

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

"The company is in deep water? Why do you think so?"

'We could use a little sales magic.'

'And here is the effect spiraling energy costs, reduced consumer confidence and limited access to credit is having on our company.'

"They say you're a miracle worker, so I'm wondering if you could part my sea of red ink?"

'How dare you suggest that I'm running this plant into the ground.'

'Crisis'

"I asked Bill to accompany this presentation with something in a haunting minor key."

"Dad's having problems at his business. He's been with lawyers, CPAs and financial consultants all day."

"Does anyone have a Plan B?"

"Apparently you mistook my laugh of derision for a smile of approval."

"Son, it’s time we had the ‘your mother and me got fleeced by Wall Street and you’ll have to support us’ talk."

'Don't worry. I can still reach back for that 98 mile-per-hour fast ball.'

'That leaves plan 'B' - absconding with the remaining funds.'

'I thought it would be appropriate to have a magician as we went down.'

"Begging or stealing are better options than borrowing right now."

'Many of our quick fix solutions are expiring tomorrow, now what?'