Company Crisis Gifts

'Our company has hit an iceberg and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"I told you, if you're looking for a road map for your life, that's all you're gonna get."

"We're still the same, great company we've always been, only we've ceased to exist."

"Bad news, sir. The public isn't buying our new Pork Ala King."

Sinking sales

What Sisyphus Learned: "When life gets rough, you sure find out who your friends are!"

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

Sad businessman with sinking profits

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

'We believe in having a very specialised team. Watkins here for example provides all our human error.'

"Why does your men's clothing store need a loan?" "During the pandemic sales of pants have dropped way off."

'Well, at least we're ahead of our competitors in the number of CFOs we've had in the past year.'

'And here is the effect spiraling energy costs, reduced consumer confidence and limited access to credit is having on our company.'

'We could use a little sales magic.'

"The company is in deep water? Why do you think so?"

'Crisis'

'How dare you suggest that I'm running this plant into the ground.'

Factory closed. The 1st CEO got most of it, as a bonus, when we fired him. Ditto, the 2nd CEO, and the last CEO got what was left.

"Dad's having problems at his business. He's been with lawyers, CPAs and financial consultants all day."

"Does anyone have a Plan B?"

Innovation department.

"Apparently you mistook my laugh of derision for a smile of approval."

'This should be done within the next ten minutes because our company will go bankrupt in about fifteen minutes.'

'This new position in our company will move me further from ampersand.'

'At least they offered us a severance gift card.'

'Still no bailout for us, sir, but don't give up hope!'

'Don't worry. I can still reach back for that 98 mile-per-hour fast ball.'

'That leaves plan 'B' - absconding with the remaining funds.'

"Begging or stealing are better options than borrowing right now."

'I told you we were in trouble financially. Our building has been repossessed.'

'You can't jump, Mr. Kramer...you need to sign our paychecks.'