Financial Crisis Gifts

'Have you heard the saying 'up the creek without a paddle?' '

"They say you're a miracle worker, so I'm wondering if you could part my sea of red ink?"

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

"Son, it’s time we had the ‘your mother and me got fleeced by Wall Street and you’ll have to support us’ talk."

'Our 401(k) is now a 201(k).'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'Still no bailout for us, sir, but don't give up hope!'

'Our nest egg finally got rotten.'

'Many of our quick fix solutions are expiring tomorrow, now what?'

City Redundancies - In? Out?

"Bad news I'm afraid - your husband is now clinically bankrupt."

"He wants us to start paying in cash, in advance."

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

Saving Spain

'I'm sorry, Collin, but our Dreyfus Mid-Cap fund completely tanked, so we're going to have to let you go.'

The truth about the death of the Dinosaurs.

"I'm gonna ride it out!"

"Well, the first reactions to the terrible truth are anger and sadness, but now it's time to act like men!"

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

Didn't know as much about the market as I thought I did.

'You don't know how lucky you are. My mortgage is worth more than my house.'

"Right, all those in favour of a car boot sale."

Investor loses shirt in Eurozone meltdown.

Bank of Greece: "Revolving Door...Turbo Speed!"

"You owe us more than your house is worth. One of our depositors will be moving in with you to help even things out."

"...And, while fortunately, I am not losing my job...my heart goes out to those who are!"

"J.P. will be joining you by speakerphone."

The Usual Suspects

Business jargon : 'significant negative growth' translated into : 'we are dead broke !'

Stress.

Euro-Meltdown

The slide continued: many of the staff took second jobs