Economic Downturn Commentator Gifts

"And then, like an idiot, I turned to the boss and said 'Maybe the stock market isn't the only thing that's been overvalued!'"

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

Mario Draghi

The Shrinking Dollar.

Why markets crash.

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

'Enter His Royal Globalness...'

'I've been sent by the board to ask if you'd be willing to cut your symbolic one dollar a year salary to fifty cents.'

"This just in! Due to downsizing, the mega-merger of Consolidated Industries and Humungous Corporation has been changed to a simple bankruptcy."

Cold drinks, candy and corporate buyouts.

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

"Old economy, new economy - some things never change."

"Since when did economists become sociologists?!"

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

Federal Guidelines

This next piece is entitled "Concerto No. 2 in C Minor Blues." Sign the economy's hurting everyone.

Maybe it's time to stop giving our bones to a broker and start burying them in the backyard again.

Rebuilding the Economy.

Bureau of Inflation.

"Brodkin, now that the economy is creating jobs at a faster than expected clip, why don't you go out and find yourself one?"

'I like the jib of their cuts.'

J. P. Morgan whale harpooned by bank regulators.

'Where's My Bail-out?' 'Where's Your Lobbyist?'

"The filthy rich"

'Crisis? Which crisis?'

"Okay, the market took a dive. No reason to panic, Mr. Spielman."

When Governments Bail Out the Sub-Prime Banks.

Vote GOP: 'Lowering taxes for the rich creates jobs, in the huge demand for security guards!'

Austerity Egg Hunt.

You know retail is in a bad way when...

'Today stocks dropped on news that the only thing to fear is everything.'

'I say this is the best we've been given for a long time!'

'And the good news is - we're in deep doo-doo.'

'I've put the business up for sale.'

"Perkins, sometimes consistency is not a virtue."