Economic Downturn Analyst Gifts

Stock Market.

Mario Draghi

"Perkins, sometimes consistency is not a virtue."

'What gives you the idea we're on a sinking ship?'

'Bad news I'm afraid...You've got the worst inheritence for a generation.'

'We're just going to have to live in a smaller envelope - look at the Jeffersons - they went from an Imperial to a Quarto in 6 months. '

'If you are looking for a job in a growth industry, how about being a Bailiff...?'

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

'I've been sent by the board to ask if you'd be willing to cut your symbolic one dollar a year salary to fifty cents.'

"And then, like an idiot, I turned to the boss and said 'Maybe the stock market isn't the only thing that's been overvalued!'"

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

"This just in! Due to downsizing, the mega-merger of Consolidated Industries and Humungous Corporation has been changed to a simple bankruptcy."

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

'How long's he been out there?'

Bribes.

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

'I'm sorry, Collin, but our Dreyfus Mid-Cap fund completely tanked, so we're going to have to let you go.'

Rising Housing Costs vs Wages.

Toys - Business Model.

'This is the vineyard the US government started 10 years ago, with $2 billion and a staff of 1,500. No wine yet, but I hear they've nearly got a slogan.'

"Like they say, April lenders brings May spenders."

Didn't know as much about the market as I thought I did.

Financial crisis and layoffs

Quick Fixes for the U.S. Economy

You know retail is in a bad way when...

"Okay, the market took a dive. No reason to panic, Mr. Spielman."

'We'd like to default on the bill.'

'And the good news is - we're in deep doo-doo.'

"Right, all those in favour of a car boot sale."

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

Bottom Line Cut.