Economic Downturn Explorer Gifts

"Now, if you all could make your way downstairs, we'll continue to look at these sales figures."

'Business is so bad even the shoplifters have stopped coming.'

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

Mario Draghi

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'I've been sent by the board to ask if you'd be willing to cut your symbolic one dollar a year salary to fifty cents.'

"And then, like an idiot, I turned to the boss and said 'Maybe the stock market isn't the only thing that's been overvalued!'"

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

"This just in! Due to downsizing, the mega-merger of Consolidated Industries and Humungous Corporation has been changed to a simple bankruptcy."

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

'I'm sorry, Collin, but our Dreyfus Mid-Cap fund completely tanked, so we're going to have to let you go.'

'How long's he been out there?'

Didn't know as much about the market as I thought I did.

You know retail is in a bad way when...

"Okay, the market took a dive. No reason to panic, Mr. Spielman."

Financial crisis and layoffs

'And the good news is - we're in deep doo-doo.'

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

'Last quarter's sales figures were disappointing but don't be discouraged. Let's double our efforts and remember that it takes both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow.'

"Right, all those in favour of a car boot sale."

"Perkins, sometimes consistency is not a virtue."

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

"As most MPs are lawyers that should give you a clue as to the mess we are in!"

'What gives you the idea we're on a sinking ship?'

"I asked Bill to accompany this presentation with something in a haunting minor key."

Nation of Has-Beens (and Never-Will-Bes)

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

'If the market should go down really deep, I'll be well prepared!'

'Bad news I'm afraid...You've got the worst inheritence for a generation.'

'I run a small investment firm. Unfortunately, it used to be a large investment firm.'

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.

Business jargon : 'significant negative growth' translated into : 'we are dead broke !'