Economic Downturn Watcher Gifts

You know retail is in a bad way when...

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

The day the stock market went UP.

Mario Draghi

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'Remember, an economic boom is usually followed by an economic kaboom,'

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

The symbol for the euro (?) depicted as the wheel of a wheelchair, symbolising the state of the currency

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

'I've been sent by the board to ask if you'd be willing to cut your symbolic one dollar a year salary to fifty cents.'

"And then, like an idiot, I turned to the boss and said 'Maybe the stock market isn't the only thing that's been overvalued!'"

'If we're going to be the sponsor of a winter Olympic even, it should be the downhill.'

Business Outlook

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

'Sir, the company's had another successful month treading water.'

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

"This just in! Due to downsizing, the mega-merger of Consolidated Industries and Humungous Corporation has been changed to a simple bankruptcy."

Deceit and corruption sacrifice America to the money 'god'

It Isn't Easy Being a Democrat

'I'm sorry, Collin, but our Dreyfus Mid-Cap fund completely tanked, so we're going to have to let you go.'

The American Nightmare.

Pundits

Money down the drain.

'So, who's first?'

"Let's have a moment's silence to remember the profits we used to make."

"Up a hundred and sixteen points! If only we'd had the foresight to invest ten minutes ago."

Didn't know as much about the market as I thought I did.

Contagious.

Financial crisis and layoffs

Airline check-in with a bankruptcies update.

"Okay, the market took a dive. No reason to panic, Mr. Spielman."

'Look, that peasant is eating something -- the economy's on the move again!'