Market Analyst In Training Gifts

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

'Remember, an economic boom is usually followed by an economic kaboom,'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

"Some guy by the name of Bernanke called in. He wants to try and make an emergency soft landing."

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

Travel looks strong!

"I tell you, I don't like the looks of it."

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'