Maritime Muse Gifts

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

'Be honest - do I have someone stuck in my teeth?'

Ship of fools.

"Gasp! Pant! Is it good for you, Marjorie?"

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'Don't over-think it, just go with the moment...ok, maybe a little thinking...'

"Call in a couple of months or sooner if you notice water in the Bilge"

"I don't think it sends the right vibe."

Senta looks at portrait of Flying Dutchman

Sailor in Car.

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Message in a bottle being read by a fish

Men in office, pose as Rodin's: The Thinker. A sign on the wall reads: THINK.

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

'Could you tone down the smile just a little?'

A sailor in his little yacht bobbing on the waves

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

"Here's another one about Teddy bears."

'Have you ever thought about doing a children's book?'

'How come there aren't any peace heroes?'

Abstract portrait art.

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

Dog Statue

An octopus admiring an inkblot painting

Artist studies painting nudes by painting peeled bananas.

'Errors were made, things were said, people got hurt.'

"How much to insure my artifical leg?"

'Couldn't you at least unbutton your top button?'

Artist's model for a painting of Hamlet turns up to the studio with a black eye

It appears the robots have skipped consciousness and gone straight to self-consciousness.

Sculptor: 'Okay, SMILE!'

Painting of a wave in a calm sea.

'...gone! The remains of the iceberg that sank the Titanic, to...'