Maritime Maniac Gifts

Sea Link, Seal Ink

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Showbiz Awards

'My feet are killing me.'

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Eighteen

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"I witnessed something I can never unsee." "What happened, little buddy?" "Some guy walking out of the 'Wolverine' premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show." "A bunch of the fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him." "I don't think I can ever unsee five Pyros and a Colossus beating a Happy Hogan with plastic flamethrowers." "Happy Hogan had it coming."

Giant slug attacks a city

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

Cow Cong vs Toilet Rolls.

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

100k Desert Crawl

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'We come in peace. Unless, of course, you have stuff that we want.'

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

"Wow! - Do all Earth people look as tasty as YOU do?"

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

"This invasion is gonna be a piece of cake. Look, they're already surrendering."

Love Hurts

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

"Advertising is a simple business, Nathan. Always remember that less is more, except, of course, for those situations where less is actually less."

Runner's High, Runner's Low

A tessellation of running figures.

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

Dead Men Tell No Tales.

2001: A Space Odyssey - Updated

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

Victorian Royal Navy

"Rum and coke...why, what do you drink on a fun run?"