Marital Satire Seeker Pillows

Well, I told you she fancied me!

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"Yes ... no!"

The finer points of marriage.

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"I never thought I'd get married again."

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

'The marriage counseling session didn't help -- she still claims she never saw me before in her life.'

Spark Notes Wedding Vows

Roach Motel

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

'When I think of all the men I could've married...'

"Divorced?" "Separated."

'Hello, Mr. Harris?... This is the private eye you hired to follow your wife. I'm afraid you were right, she is sleeping with another man.'

'...And do you Colin, take Linda to be your cook, cleaner and main income provider?'

'Sometimes I think you only married me for my employer's spousal benefit health insurance coverage.'

"He left me. I doubt it was for another woman, though. He asked me for a letter of recommendation."

'I'm entitled to one phone call!'

"We're looking for a ceremony less drastic than marriage?"

'Actually, your wife's quite hot... Mind if I ask her for a date?... Post decree absolute, of course.'

'It would never work, Shep - I'm housebroken, you're not.'

"It wasn't until after fifty years of marriage that Mike finally learned the importance of putting the seat down." "Happy anniversary. Now flush."

'I can't go on like this Wilfred - you've changed so - You're no longer the man I married.'

"Separate clouds, please."

"You may now start packing on the pounds."

"My wife of fifty years would kill me if she knew I was having this affair."

"And is there any particular reason Mrs Muglewump for you wanting to divorce your 93 year old billionaire husband?"

'My wife is setting the world record for an unconsummated marriage!'

"It was peaceful - I listed his faults the one last time and he drifted away."

'I call it, 'Albert Was Insufferable'.'

'That's the mental cruelty pair,she's cruel and he's mental.'