Marital Harmony Explorer Pillows

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"OK, now what?"

'Keep pumping Mildred.'

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

Mrs. Almighty.

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

Looks like I do dishes again.

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

'You're always taking the fun out of everything!'

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

Too Weird to Have a Husband

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

Blanket Pull

'Disappointed? You ask if I'm disappointed? Well, Arthur, after 38 years of patiently peeling away one onion layer after another, I'll admit I HAD hoped there was something more that a tough, green sprout-thingie at your core!'

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

"Even after all these years, I still find it very exciting using my vote to cancel out your father's."

Sure, I wanted Joe to 'settle down.' But I always assumed he'd eventually get back up!

Theirs and Theirs

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

'I've no problem finding my wife's erogenous zone. It's my wallet.'

"We started to communicate and found out we had nothing in common!"