Marine Stories Gifts

"Someone here has gobbled down all the food rations..."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Naval Veterans Drinking at Greenwich Pub

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

"Call me, Ishmael."

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

"My new book will be an epic novel of the sea."

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

Fish near-death experiences.

Fish with Shield

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

"Will thou not sayest 'Uncle'?"

So Lonely 'Twas (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

"She's definitely had work done on her tail."

"Damned fine divorce lawyer you turned out to be - when you said I'd have to give her half of everything, I never thought for one minute..."

Newly amputated arm points to captain Hooks' cabin.

'He's the ship's plumber, Captain.'

Nelson had no real sense of direction.

Illustration for 'A Wrinkle for the Coastguard'.

Sooner or Later

"It's really the black whale I hate, but I didn't want to appear racist."

Sea yarns.

"I told you to be careful!"

A castawy sees a ship comiing closer and is excited by the prospect of rescue - but the ship plows right through the middle of his island.

"Call me Ishmael, - or Fish Meal, if I fall overboard."

Confessions of a Lighthouse Keeper.

So Emma's like, "You told him that?" and Sarah goes, "Well, yeah, hello!" and Emma's like, "No way!" and

"It's a 'Dear Long John' letter."

'Gee, I didn't really have to attack that surfer in the red and blue shorts last Thursday...I wasn't that hungry.'

'Well, here we are... stranded on a cliché.'