Collecting Maritime Stories Gifts

Sooner or Later

When laundry ruled the waves.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Naval Veterans Drinking at Greenwich Pub

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

'Distracting the fish.'

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

On the plus side, I'd wager a lot of you folks back there had never seen an iceburg up close before.

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

"My new book will be an epic novel of the sea."

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

'We should talk more.'

"I told you not to hold your breath when comping up!"

"Re-calculating, arrive at your final destination in six...five...four..."

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

"Someone here has gobbled down all the food rations..."

Captain Thomas Coram.

Rob The Grinder admires the Nobby Shropshire One

A Hellish Thing (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

Captain Ahab receives a Dick pic

'You're right Sir... it is the Flying Dutchman.'

Funk Facts: Pirates.

So Lonely 'Twas (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

'We're lucky, really - it could be raining.'

Queequeg: Master Harpoonist and Social Director, USS Pequod.

The Truth About Mermaids

Nautical Antiques: We Catch Your Drift

Live Bait.

"Damned fine divorce lawyer you turned out to be - when you said I'd have to give her half of everything, I never thought for one minute..."

Illustration for 'A Wrinkle for the Coastguard'.

Newly amputated arm points to captain Hooks' cabin.

'Next time you pick me up lose the open plan galley.'