Marine Muralist Gifts

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

Use your imagination.

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"Oh no! Some self-obsessed, anti-social bastard has graffitied over your graffiti!"

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'Don't be hard on the boy, dear, I'm sure that Van Gogh's first sunflowers weren't so hot.'

Sponge Blog

'I got one this small.'

'Thrilling news yesterday; my nephew's got the Lascaux Caves commission.'

"Dude—you're ruining my face—and when are you painting my hands—my ear is itchy—also you stink—hurry up!"

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

So, how are you planning on eating that?

The Hudson River School of Art.

'Well, we've been under a lot of pressure lately.'

Artist - Portfolio, Starboardfolio

It's a recording contract from the whale's agent.

"Another impulse purchase?"

'I'm a marine. This is our new camouflage.'

"I live in dread of being mistaken for an undersea energy cable."

"What kind of naval blockade is this?"

"For a little extra we could have got Giotto."

Fingerlings.

"Oooooh, you should smile more often. It suits you"

It looks like you been fighting. You should take an anchor management class.

"I went with the flow and wound up in the French quarter."

'I'm still a bit hungry: I don't think I've had more than four tons of krill this morning...'

Ronald couldn't grasp his instructor's insistence on his using oils rather than his preferred medium, watercolour.

"Now remember if we do meet a shark, a sharp rap on his nose....

'Listen, yes, I'm an hermit, but a simple Hermit-Crab: I do not answer philosophical questions!'

"Oh boy, that's no fireworks, it's a distress flare! Let's go and investigate. . ."

Diver disguised as a fish