Maritime Artist Gifts

"Can you get a bit off - the last three ships you did went down head first."

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

Japanese Whaling

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

"Can I interest you in a great white?"

"He's a keeper!"

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

Ever Given

Selfie of the Golden Hinde

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

Man tried to unload a ship in a bottle.

Victorian Royal Navy

'What I need now is a good publicist...'

"May I suggest hard a-starboard, or port, or whatever!"

Shipwrecked with an environmentalist.

Noah's Arc "And that's when I realized I had two of everything I needed, right in front of me, this whole time."

'Thank goodness you're here!'

The Hudson River School of Art.

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.

Only Percy seemed happy that the Titanic was taking on water.

"What a beautiful day to set sail!"

Lighthouse switch

"Ah, sweatpants."

'We need to update our gravel, install a fake treasure chest, and get one of those lifelike scuba divers. Apparently, it's all about curb appeal.'

Artist - Portfolio, Starboardfolio

Angry pirate looking at angry parrot (wearing diaper) on his shoulder.

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

The synchronized shower event.

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

'And remember: this isn't a submarine!'

Will you marry me?

Rainbow violin surfers

"He thinks he's located a World War I torpedo boat. What's exciting at your house?"

Flotsam and Jetson