Marine Matchmaker Pillows

Becky regretted joining SeaHarmony.com

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Today's love

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

"Today's numbers. . . seashells up one, lobsters up three, claims down one, mussels up one . . ."

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Are you thinking what I'm thinking?'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"I'm all for diversity. Let's get someone in here who knows what they're doing."

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Match maker

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"This is the new man. I want you to bring him up to speed."

Boat to the Horizon.

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."