Marathon Miracle Gifts

'My feet are killing me.'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Go! Means NOW!

Tiny Visions

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

City Marathon.

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"I told him he should have trained more."

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

Women in a cross country race

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

100k Desert Crawl

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

Health

I guess that's one way to get the ER renovated.

A tessellation of running figures.

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

Runner's High, Runner's Low

'Costume - What costume?'

Finish line extended 20 miles.

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

'This is wonderful. It will help millions of people.'

Get a life

"Rum and coke...why, what do you drink on a fun run?"