Manure Strategists Gifts

Cow Pat Planning

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

The stuff of Legend.

YOUR HORSE - Poster style outlining horse parts.

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

Will work for manure.

A misery of mole hills

"I don't want the report next week! I don't want it tomorrow! I don't want it this afternoon! I don't want. . ."

'This is my latest sculpture in compacted poo. I call it 'got the trots'.'

Farmer tacking up signs in Dairy barn.

Right, just off to the east field to muck spread!

"What amazes me is that dad actually buys fertilizer!"

A lady wants a higher fence to protect her man from the neighbour.

"Here's a money-saving tip."

'Oh gross, manure.'

"My new recycling bin from Amazon is not big enough for the packaging it came in."

"I survived this long by telling all the young toms that a farmer will bring an ax to cut the fence down and set free the first turkey he sees."

Dog in pet shop beats the competition by hold a sign saying 'Has Fleas'.

After ditching the footwraps the Russian army faces the lost sock paradox.

'My business model is simple. Produce enough crap and they will come.'

'Please make it rain on the garden but not the lawn.'

'...I just take the Hide-a-Meter bush, toss it over the meter, and voila! Free unlimited parking!'

Fan on Manure

'It's cool that you found a hobby, but I have to say that bag is really freaking' me out.'

'Pawn to king's rook four.'

"And just remember: Daddy got you out of that nasty pet store because he hopes you'll act really cute and friendly in the park, especially around attractive, single women."

Flower poaching water from the neighbouring flowerpot.

Puddle