Manual Sceptic Gifts

'And what do you do for a living Duncan?' 'I write instruction manuals for computers.'

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"We fell for this last time remember..."

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

New from Low-Key Press.

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

'I have great job security since management doesn't even know I work here.'

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

'OK, now you've seen it...'

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

House of Wishful Thinking

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

Egomaniacs Anonymous - "There's nothing anonymous about me!"

Descartes's Demon

Actual Results May Vary

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

Older cousin press

'Jesus? Jesus who?'