Mansion Dweller Gifts

"I could cry when I think of the years I wasted accumulating money, only to learn that my cheerful disposition is genetic."

"Oh for God's sake Peter, do remove your feet from the table."

"Someone is approaching the house, Mr. Roscoe. Sir."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Use your imagination.

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

Turtle Trailer Court

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"Come and get it!"

Shakespeare Street

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

'Mobile homes aren't allowed here.'

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

Upper West Side Story

"Time like these make me wish we had sprung for that apartment with a park view."

"I travel Prada whenever I can."

The Day Dreamer.

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

OM, SWEET OM

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."