Manscaping Gifts

Always knock. The secrets of male grooming are best kept that way.

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

A man washing a mascot costume

"That's our new church mascot."

Adult Barbershop

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

"That one killed my manservant, it fell on his head while he was vacuuming the carpet."

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"Whom should I say is calling?"

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

"It's all about teamwork. We even have our own mascot."

'Ok, so you smelled gas and then you ... wait a minute! You're a family of opossums?'

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

Crazy paving company.

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

Rubbing alcoholics anonymous.

Workplace 17 Days Without An Accident

'Go over that again about thinking you're a gargoyle.'

"Yes we need it back. The team fired you, not Sharky."

'What's the name of our new mascot again?' 'Mopey.'

'Hi! I'm Nukee, the nuclear power mascot! You'll be seeing lots of me & I'll be seeing lots of you!

'This is great! I had no idea it was a dinner cruise.'

'Caution - wet floor' sign in fish tank.

'The food's lousy! The water's too cold! The pond needs cleaning! You should feed us more often!'

'Looks like a little lucky mascot.'

'Are you going to keep that silly mustache for all eternity?'

The Friendly Antipodes

"Can this wait? I'll never live it down if my staff sees you henpecking me."