Manscaping Gifts

Always knock. The secrets of male grooming are best kept that way.

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

A man washing a mascot costume

"That's our new church mascot."

Adult Barbershop

A skip full of fools.

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"Whom should I say is calling?"

"That one killed my manservant, it fell on his head while he was vacuuming the carpet."

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

"It's all about teamwork. We even have our own mascot."

'Ok, so you smelled gas and then you ... wait a minute! You're a family of opossums?'

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

Zoo. Marsupials. What's the difference between a possum and an opossum? The opossum is an Irish possum.

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

Crazy paving company.

Mr Met

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

No poking doughboy

Workplace 17 Days Without An Accident

"I don't think it sends the right vibe."

'Go over that again about thinking you're a gargoyle.'

Rubbing alcoholics anonymous.

'What's the name of our new mascot again?' 'Mopey.'

"Yes we need it back. The team fired you, not Sharky."

'Hi! I'm Nukee, the nuclear power mascot! You'll be seeing lots of me & I'll be seeing lots of you!

'This is great! I had no idea it was a dinner cruise.'

'Caution - wet floor' sign in fish tank.

'Looks like a little lucky mascot.'

'The food's lousy! The water's too cold! The pond needs cleaning! You should feed us more often!'

The Friendly Antipodes

Mr. Peanut sauced.