Manscaping Enthusiast Gifts

Steve used to worry about dirty underwear. Now he has a new hospital fear.

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"If they want a snowball fight, then I'll give them one."

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

Why kangaroos hate birthday parties.

Adult Barbershop

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'Researching the opossum article.'

"And you call yourself a marsupial?"

The strong Canadian dollar is bad for the Canadian exporting manufacturers.

The Press

Caution to People About to Be Photographed on the Sands at the Seaside.

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"It's all about teamwork. We even have our own mascot."

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

"He had his binoculars back to front!"

"You're new on catapults aren't you Murphy?"

Baby Marsupial On Board

"I promised him he could have a pet."

'That was your grandfather -- his catapult went off while he was cleaning it.'

It had been a good life, filled with passion and joy, tender bonds, and finally one irretrievable error.

'I thought you'd like to know the cat got down from the roof by itself.'

"For me, everyday is 'take your child to work' day."

Discus accidents.

"Yes we need it back. The team fired you, not Sharky."

"And they say this country doesn't make anything anymore!"

"There it is again: 'Zipper's stuck. Zipper's stuck.'"

Union and Non-Union Carpenter Ants.

'Brian...you're forty-two. Isn't it about time that you left home?'