Manna Mystic Gifts

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Wikipedia...

God's Phone

"All the celebrities come here."

Witches of Instagram

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

Yogi back in 5.

'I think 'The Cloud' knows more thank you think.'

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

"Free why-fi.”

Snake with headphones.

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"When was your last meta-physical?"

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

'The meaning of life??? How the hell should I know? Try Google.'

Seances of the future

God's Phone

It says, Did you know you can now call up any spirit for just 10

"Yeah, Charlie wnet to one of those 'mindful outdoor experience' seminars. . ."

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

'It must be the altitude -- enlightenment shouldn't give you nosebleeds.'