Manicure Gifts

'Oh! Oh! I think I broke a fingernail!'

"Your nails look much better. But that wasn't why I gave you the file."

Woman files God's nails.

'Women love their nails, so next time she suggests you get fixed, tell her only if she gets declawed.'

'I think your 10 o' clock appointment's arrived.'

'It's annoying: With all this digging, I always have dirty or broken fingernails...'

Sorry, I can't do your typing, I'm doing my filing."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

The adoration of the gels.

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Too much concealer?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"It's called, 'Goth'."

"I don't like your application."

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"Where are my eyelashes?"

Have you got your make up on yet?

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Woman applying makeup