Managerial Sage Gifts

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

Career Choices

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

Between Offices

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

Twitter censorship

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

Don't you see, Kreutzer? That's why we have all this literature. So you won't duplicate an experiment that's already been done, and there's no reason at all why you should be duplicating Smedly's experiments. After all, he shares a lab with you.

'You should agree with me, but not all the time, Try mixing it up a little,'

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."