Management Critique Gifts

"It says 'how about putting a slot in the suggestion box'. Well, I don't know how that got in there."

"I'm not sure they fully understand the concept of annual stocktaking."

Sally had the suspicion she wouldn't like her new boss...

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

Office temperature.

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

"But if you were a real boy you wouldn't be allowed to work such long hours."

"I don't make the rules around here. I just enshrine them."

"I may need you to take the fall for the Swanson mess. So, goeth with pride."

Boss: Suggestion Box Bin

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

Finally! There comes my most important man!

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

"I don't want to insult your intelligence - I imagine that happens enough as it is."

'As you know, Wilson, our CEO screwed up big time, so he was fired and gets a big bonus. But because of his mistakes, you just get fired.'

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

'If there's one thing I've learnt from being a good manager, it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

'Let's get with it, Miss Ogden -- Spread some papers around on my desk!'

"I can't help but think that coming here is a total waste of time"

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

Waste Management.

"It's the new management structure, the worker's the one at the bottom..."

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

'How can the employees accuse me of running a sweatshop? Don't I let them go home after midnight?'

'I have great job security since management doesn't even know I work here.'

BP is compensating those affected by the black tide in Gulf of Mexico...

"Nothing personal, I just wanted to see if I still had it."

Federal Department of Gimme, Gimme, Gimme!

'Or we can ask the government for a bailout.'

"Wait a minute! I don’t ignore the concerns of my employees! I listen to them, I discuss with them... and then I ignore them."

The Buck Stops Here.

'Finally, here's your chance to do something extraordinarily good for our company - quit and start working for the competitor!'