Mamarazzi Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Masquerade

"He's a keeper!"

Leo McKern

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

Selfie World

"Can I interest you in a great white?"

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

Selfie of the Golden Hinde

Ever Given

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

As Seen On TV

The Pooperrazzi

Man tried to unload a ship in a bottle.

"It's finally happened - Tom Hanks was in every movie this year."

"It's not for you, it's for the paparazzi."

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

"Alright be cool. We're just gonna ask for an autograph and be on our way."

'What I need now is a good publicist...'