Malpractice Satirist Gifts

The surgeons notes clearly state... 'Remove organs and create a sterile environment for the patients Pyjamas.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Virtual Doctor

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'There is a drug for Hypochondria... but the side-effects may actually make you sick!'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

"According to your brain scan, you just don't want to go back to work."

Single Prayer Health Insurance

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'He started it!'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

A sick sandwich is in the hospital and is getting a transfusion on new Maya and Zesty Mustard.

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

"...And this is Mable, who will assist me with the billing."

My, grandma, what a big premium you have for a plan that doesn't cover getting eaten by a wolf.

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'

'Yes I'm afraid this room is bugged, but don't worry, it's just Clostridium Difficile'

'I don't know about this new computer inventory system. It just ordered a thousand left handed four fingered surgical gloves.'

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

"We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96."

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

"We've managed to cut down the 16 pills you're taking to just one!"