Making Up Gifts

Fake it with Flowers.

I need a not to expensive gift that doesn't hurt when thrown to my head.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Halloween may be a little different this year.

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"Too much concealer?"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"It's called, 'Goth'."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"I don't like your application."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"Where are my eyelashes?"

Have you got your make up on yet?

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Jonathan! I've told you not to put your space toys in the freezer and pretend they're on the ice planet!"

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Woman applying makeup

"Take my word for it, sir―it looks just great on you!"

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

First love.