Makeup Gifts

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

You remember this the next time you buy cotton balls.

"Our foundation covers up just about anything ??" aside from childhood trauma."

"And I'll have my usual - 'Mutton dressed as lamb'!"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

"Beauty comes from within."

'I need a good concealer. I've got a lot of emotional leakage.'

'Real men have died out,,,there are only softies left,'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'That new concealer works great!'

Puffin applying makeup to its beak (to attract a mate).

'Now I look like Mummy!'

'I wouldn't be caught dead in this shade!'

'Why is it women spend hours plucking their eyebrows...then spend hours penciling them back in again!'

Bozo and his wife Botox.

'We're too late for the Xmas Eve shindig but if you hurry we can just about make the New Year Eve one!'

"I couldn't find a nail file, like you asked, so I brought you some nail polish and lip gloss instead."

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

Whatever look you were aiming for..you missed!

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"Easy on the cosmetics, dear. Use just enough so people say, 'See, you don't need makeup!'"

After an argument they always kissed and made up.

"Hey, could either of you fellas lend me a lipstick?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

Male Green Beret applying face camouflage - female Green Beret applying lipstick.

'Oh, great! And me without my makeup on yet!'

'I hope you make it with your boyfriend. Now, can we please finish this removal job?'

"I hardly recognized you without makeup."

Batman applying make-up

Beauty Time

Holstein spotting kit.

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'

'We need some new faces around here, people, so this Thursday I've scheduled each and every one of you for a complete makeover.'

I'm sorry Keith but the last thing I want to do right now is KISS and make up!

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'